What I've learned about Creativity

 -Ideas come in multiples- the same or similar idea occurs to multiple people around the world.

It is up to you to take that idea, that inspiration and run with it. USE IT and make it into Something, then release it out into the world. The Universe may be presenting the same idea to many people, a lot of discoveries come in multiples at around the same time, or for certain, there is someone else that thought like you in the past, or even RIGHT NOW as you are reading these words.

-It's okay to have a "day job"

The pressure to pay the bills can stifle creativity. It doesn't deserve that kind of burden. At least for me, with balance, creating things is not "on the side" but just another part of what I do in the day. A lot of creatives need another thing to live and cannot rely on their Art alone. But that's okay because you will still be able to create if you want to, and hey more power to you if you can get that to become your day job.

-Is the job or career worthy enough that you are fine with the shit that may come or comes with it?

Whether it be the repeated rejections of your art or writing, or working 80 crazy hours. I love cooking and baking, it would be amazing if I was able to fill the majority of my day with it, same goes for drawing and painting. But I don't think I can tolerate the stuff that comes with it in a full-time job. Now with music, my love my passion, if I get rejected a million times- and I've experienced a fraction of that-or I have to learn music theory and production and things I didn't really want to learn because I'm not actively creating music but I do it because these basics will eventually help me, WELL I will still keep doing it. One day if I can get paid enough to sustain my life then I'll let it consume me even if it comes with "the bad". You have to be fine with the shit that comes with your desired job, at least if you want to stick with it. But hey I'm not telling you can't complain! 

The BEST feeling in the world

    other than falling in love-requited or unrequited

-is the feeling of being propelled forward by something while you yourself are also moving forward-physically and/or mentally. Gilbert gives an example of walking on those moving platforms at the airport, I love that feeling too.  I've also felt it while running, right until the moment of breathlessness catches me. I've once dreamt of running but not feeling out of breath- that was an ideal serene feeling.

It's the same with creating something, looking back on it, and feeling happy, satisfied with what you wrought out of thin air. For me, it seems like there is a path floating in the universe, a yellow brick road toward my idea realized. I feel proud when I've found it and walked on it toward, but I'm always thinking is this the right path? The brick road is actually a rough forest trail that sometimes has markings to guide you but other times there is little demarcation between the trail, the forest, and you. It's only looking back that I see there was a man-made path.

The Creative Endeavour can seem hazy but by sticking with it, trusting the process, and with persistence, the ideas turn into the actual thing that makes you happy.

Creative Living

WELL, I should just put it down right now.

Before I forget. Before I don't want to anymore. Before the moment escapes me.

And maybe I'll post about the past soon.

But for now...

To Live a Creative Life:

(A writing based on listening to the first part of Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic). 

(Of which I've finally sat down and listened to after sitting idle in my audible library for a couple years, but it seems the wait was purposeful because I'm at a place and time in my life that I can relate to and enact these changes).

In this certainly uncertain, sad, life-changing, history-has-yet-again-repeated, TIME, I am allowed to re-evaluate my life.

It IS selfish to think that this time was made for me to account for my life thus far. But amongst the backdrop of struggle and with the privilege of good circumstance, I can re-adjust my life.

There were barriers to my "creative living".

My job, my mindset, the time.

There are still distractions that pull me away from the endeavor. But the pang of not-doing tugs me back to my path.

Ah yes, it may be "safer" to hide my creativity, scared to share my "treasures" or in my own words -"sacred sensitive thoughts". But if I live "safely" I will resent it, with questions and "what-ifs" running through my head.

These barriers are now either silent or quieter.

Like Gilbert's ice-skating-at-40-years-old friend, I can now submerge myself in THE THING that brings value to my life. 

Music.

Plus, I've gained the perspective and active intention of wanting to live the way I want.

Yes, it takes courage, which I try to gather and gain in every moment, to form and free my feelings in the cold, hard world.

Fear of sharing, of letting your thoughts out there-bare and raw, with no explanation, or one that may not be easily explained, is scary. BUT not following through on your dreams is the actual failure or grief.

Following your fear will not protect you. But live alongside it. Use it to fuel you.

Creativity is uncertain per Gilbert, and fear is a result of uncertainty or all about avoiding this uncertainty.

When I was at the beginning of my first job, I had lots of fear. That's typical of course. Especially with a patient coming in with an unknown or vague diagnosis, I was fearful of if I'll do things right or not. 

IF.

If I'll do it right, because of the uncertainty of it all I might fail.

So what if I fail?

I could still keep trying-And I did and gained more experience. If things didn't go right the first time then well, say "okay", move on, learn, and keep trying.

Now later on I did become comfortable, almost automatic in the way I did things. Working with kids though still kept me on my toes, literally. 

But I was still fearful of becoming TOO comfortable. It leads to stagnation and being fine with the way things are, and not re-thinking every so often; you could make a mistake. Protocols are well and good but it can PAY to be uncertain. Being on your toes will keep you sharp, still questioning, evaluating, to do it better.

Along the lines of Gilbert's thinking, one of my professors imparted similar wisdom upon me about fear; don't eliminate it. Live alongside it. If you aren't a little bit nervous (a result of fear and maybe even caring) then you've lost the game. Meaning you've settled in and got too comfortable-stagnant. You need to get out of that! Shake yourself, change it up. 

Keep learning and growing, there might be an ever-changing situation afoot that needs new thinking and doing.

Do I sound like an adult now?

From where I've been to where I'm going.

I still feel like a kid some days. I'm still uncertain about many things.