Maybe I have not found someone because I don't want anyone to take me off my path

It's juvinille thinking but maybe no one saw me or wanted to be with me because 1/ I don't put myself out there 2/ I'm ugly(or not societally/conventionally attractive -whatever words you want to use) It's very hard But I've learned to be hyper independent- wow what a buzzword, I don't ask for help, which is good and bad. Although it is difficult living, with no one to take care of you when you're sick with fever, crying alone, no one making you food or taking out the trash when you're recovering after a major surgery, digging your car out of the snow with no respite. I can say I did it by myself. I don't know if that makes me stronger, or more resilent which could help me in later life. But I am also very tired...

Another DEPRESSION post...I guess this is a series now

Well I'm back again, I'm 32 and just when I think I have overcome/conquered my wittle sadness, it becomes big again. Nothing humbles you like being back at your parents. I thought I would dress in clothes I actually like/am comfortable in, but when presented to the 'rents it was deemed unpresentable for people to see me in. And I can't stay locked up in my bedroom-"what does she even do in there?" they say. They don't even have to say it, I feel it.